Speed-Lancer

I read this in 's journal first, then 's.

Type in your real first name and the phrase into Google, then post the first search response that makes sense... or just pick a funny one from the front page.

Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
A: Michael needs a healthy donor with type B or O blood.
(Neither of these are my blood type, I just like the way they taste.)

Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
A: Here's What Michael Looks Like When He Dances
(Video Link Withheld)

Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
A: Michael says: I am hopelessly in love with letterforms.
(But I still haven't the courage to ask any of them out.)

Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
A: Michael Wants A Ph.D.
(Not a real one, one of those mail-order kinds)

Q: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
A: Michael does a Houdini
(I had a great time, but she still hasn't called me.)

Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
A: Michael Hates Stupid Americans
(But hey, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.)

Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search:
A: Michael immediately asks for Stanley's opinion.
(Well he IS my "Go To Guy")

Q: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search:
A: Mike Goes on Trial
(No comment. No pictures. No interviews.)

Q: Type in "[your name] likes" in Google search:
A: Michael likes to joke around with just about everyone
(Those who I don't like to joke with, you know who you are.)

Q: Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:
A: Michael eats a dog biscuit
(What? They're good for your teeth)

Q: Type in "[your name] wears" in Google search:
A: Micheal Wears His Bad Idea Jeans Right on outta the house
(My Good Idea Jeans were dirty that day.)

Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search:
A: Michael was arrested for possession of Class C drugs
(I was low on cash, so I couldn't afford the good Class A drugs

This time, me and my brother somehow wound up with some sweet looking sports car. We were taking it for a drive, when I stopped at some big house on the corner of some Beverly Hills looking street. Outside a black guy, who looked like a younger, skinnier Chris Tucker, was struggling to get out of some kind of straight jacket. I tried to get him out of it, but he pushed me a way and told us to go inside. We went on in, and apparently it was some big ole party with lots of free alcohol. I mean, there was a wall of shelves filled with already full glasses and mugs and such. My brother went ahead and started drinking, but since I had the keys to the sweet ride I passed. Then some old guy came up to me saying something about being related to another man with the last name Hebert who had died recently. I just played along, because he was a bit drunk. Then my sight shifted to the black guy out front again, where a bunch of white guys strung him up on the tree in the yard. Back inside, I get some bad feeling, grab my brother and head outside. I see the guy in the tree, looking dead, so I ripped him from the tree. He was just passed out, but he woke up and franticaly wanted out of the straight jacket. I we ripped it from him real quick, when Philip (my brother) saw a bunch of dudes with guns heading outside from the living room window. So we make haste for the car. Just then a couple of hotties, one of which gave us the car by mistake, get out of another car and demand we hand over the keys. The guys with guns were coming out of the house one-by-one, so I shove them in the back seat, Chris gets in with them, Philip gets up front, and I start the car and gun it.

Then I woke up.

It was incoherent, but I see a Fast and the Furious type movie in it.


P.S. Dad gave me his old digital camera today. It's a Kodak DX3700 3.1 MegaPixel, with a 3.7 mm equivalent lens. I'm gonna have some fun.

I woke up today to find my current pair of sunglasses broken. I wear the things almost everywhere I go, so it's a bit depressing. One of the parts that sit on the ears was missing, so I checked the pocket of the pants I was wearing yesterday. Apparently it snapped off when I bent over for something. I'm just pissed off about it because I don't have the spare cash to go buy another crap pair right now. Instead I'm wearing these thick, visor-type sunglasses that just don't look good with everything. They're fine for when I'm doing outside work, but not much else.

I just woke up from the clearest dream I can remember. It started with photos laying on some flat surface. In the photos were a couple, a little boy about 5 and a couple of toddlers, one a light skinned boy and the other a tan skinned girl. Then the photos started to move, like transitioning into the memory of it. First the five were gathered around a couple of carriage-looking things. Then the man and the kids were all on some massive bicycle with a plastic shell. The kids were in the back of it, the little girl sleeping, and the 5-year-old playing with the toddler. Someone was talking, like narrating the scene, but I can't recall exactly what they were saying. I think it was a man. After that there was a photo of a familiar looking house. Then that started to move, like the first, into a memory. Except this time I was moving as if the point of view was my own. I was the baby boy in the first part apparently. I heard a girl call some name and I responded, so it must have been mine. When I turned to look it was a beautiful young woman, with slightly tanned skin. Obviously it was the baby girl from before. I don't quite remember what was happening, but at one point we both started to fly around the yard, chasing each other back and forth. I started to fly up near the end of the house, through a few hoops and around a gable. She said something about a flying broom, to which I responded "No, you can have it. I love this too much." A few minutes later she said "Chase me!" and then started walking away. I flew after her at a relaxed rate. She kept walking around pillars and covered walkways. I found myself drunk on flying, and started weaving around the pillars just enough to stay behind her.


Then she started to sing. I can't remember the lines, I honestly wish I could, but there is no doubt she had a lovely singing voice. She kept walking along a covered walkway to what looked like an old-fashioned play house, but just big enough for us to climb in. She started up a ladder that led to a little enclosed space, like at the top of a tower. The last line rang clear in my ears "..I want to kiss you a while..". My heart skipped a beat. I poked my head into the ladder space and looked up but didn't see her. I floated up and got into the space. It was a bit cramped with the two of us, but I guess that's what she wanted. We kissed for what seemed like eternity.


When I woke up from it, I had this great feeling of loss. I was sad, but I can't explain why.

It would appear there are only 6 people that have me on their watch list, and only a couple are artists. At this rate, I don't think anyone wil want to draw my story.